Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can read

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Abby Lee Miller Sues Cedars-Sinai Hospital, Claims Doctors Left Catheter in Her Body - TMZ

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can count

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s true, cutting calories will make you depressed - The Times

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Would you respect the US with a woman as president?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What are some dirty secrets of Indian (Bollywood, etc.) actors and actresses?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I actually pay taxes

Market's Slide Broadens in Afternoon Trading - Barron's

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen to me?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why do all the stupid people think Donald J. Trump is stupid?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why do guys on dating apps often just first message "hey" or "hey how are you" instead of being more creative and unique? How do they think being a copycat will stand out?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

DC Mayor Bowser’s message for Shakira after WorldPride cancellation: ‘Get yourself here’ - WTOP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy bullshit

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Is it wrong that I picked to be a Christian (as a teenager/14-year-old) even with knowing all of the information about other religions/atheism?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand how hurricane paths work

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup